Susan David, Emotional Agility, 2016

Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life

“Emotions are absolutely fundamental to our long-term success – our grit, our ability to self-regulate, to negotiate conflict and to solve problems. They influence our relationships and our ability to be effective in our jobs,” said David, author of the book ... Children who grow up into adults who are not able to navigate emotions effectively will be at a major disadvantage.”

Our book discusses how teachers can work alongside pupils to develop positive emotions together, talking calmly through crises, helping pupils get back on track rather than inflicting punishments that put them further off track.

Susan David describes emotional agility as “being aware and accepting of all your emotions, even learning from the most difficult ones” and being able to “live in the moment with a clear reading of present circumstances, respond appropriately, and then act in alignment with your deepest values.” Understanding emotions helps young people to make healthy decisions within positive social values.

Emotions are not good or bad. Everyone experiences difficult emotions — including sadness, anger and frustration. All emotions are normal and healthy.

“No emotion is here to stay,” said David. “You may feel really sad or really angry — but emotions are transient. Emotions pass.” Acknowledge them. Reflect on them nonjudgmentally. View your emotional responses with curiosity, gently asking, “Why am I feeling this way?”

Emotions are teachers. People can learn from difficult emotions. Ask yourself: What is this emotion telling me? How can I use this information to be stronger, better and more connected with the world?”

Courage is ‘fear walking’. “We are surrounded by people telling us to conquer our fears but fear is normal.” We should note it with interest but not let it stop us doing important positive things.

Values Affirmation is a recognition that core values are “the compass that keep us moving in the right direction”. Giving young people opportunities to affirm and articulate their values helps them in the face of inevitable challenges. They can talk about why school is important to them, who they want to be, what they care about, what they want to accomplish and what difference they want to make in the world.

A Stanford University project  found that asking minority (Black and Latino) middle school students to reflect on their schooling during stressful points in the school year resulted in significant academic gains.

It helps to develop what Susan David calls a ‘strong internal compass’. Teaching young people how to think, not what to think helps them work through emotionally charged situations. To support them, David uses the phrase: “I see you” — your emotions, your ideas, your strengths, your struggles, and your dreams. When pupils are very upset, the presence of an interested attentive person invites calm in.